What Are You Not Telling Your Spouse?

Don't tell my husband!

Don't tell my wife!

What they don't know, won't hurt them!

So..........

this is my personal opinion and 

I know a lot of people that don't feel the same way as I do.

Couples use these phrases all the time.

Anytime I hear someone saying them it really bothers me.

It can be something simple like:

A wife buys some new clothes or a coffee in the morning and says, "Don't tell my husband".

A husband purchases a new tool or gets a muffin on the way to work 

and says, "Don't tell my wife."

I have heard this phrase so many times over some really silly things 

and sometimes it's more serious.

I have heard it from family members, friends, and

posts on Facebook.

I have even heard it from pastors.

They are teaching and jokingly say something about their wives

 then say, "Don't tell my wife."

I have heard it from people teaching in bible studies.

I have even heard of a pastor that got a little road rage with his kids in the car so he took them for ice cream to bribe them not to tell their mom.

Yes, most of it is on trivial things.

But, does that really matter?

Should we be keeping things from our spouses?
What are we teaching our children?
It's not really a lie, is it?

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about big lies. 
(that's for a whole other blog)
I'm talking about those little things.
The one where the one spouse is hiding a sugar addiction, smoking, purchases that you try to hide (yes, just like all those Facebook posts about hoping the UPS man comes when your husband is away), saying things that they don't want their husband or wife to know about. 
The small lies that we tell ourselves aren't really lies. 

I worked for a while in a small market in my town and while I was there I saw this a lot.
I had this one particular husband that would come in all the time when his wife was out of town.
He would come in, buy cigarettes and two gallons of ice cream.
He would say jokingly that his wife didn't allow those so he took advantage of the luxuries when she was away.

It is lying.

When we keep trivial things from our spouses so easily,

 it can lead to keeping more serious circumstances easily too.

It's true that those trivial things won't always turn into something worse.

But it could.

Are you willing to risk it?

On top of that, you are being disrespectful to your spouse.

How would you feel if you husband or wife could hear you. 

Or walked in the room right when you said that.

They would feel terrible, right?

I would hate that my husband felt he needed to hide things from me.

I would feel terrible that he was saying things about me that he felt I shouldn't know.

It would put a hint of doubt in part of our relationship.

If you can't say it, or do it in front of your spouse then it shouldn't be done.
Period.

Are secrets okay to keep?

By keeping secrets are you seeking the highest and best of God's gift of marriage?

God gave us a partner. A friend. A lover. 
Don't push them away by the small things. 
Strive to tell each other everything.
Strive to be honest at all chances.

Proverbs 12:19

Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.