Serving Your Husband.... Ugh....

Ugh.... why can't he serve me?

I do everything.

I'm just so tired. 

I'm serving the kids and everyone else all day, I just want a break.

These are the kinds of things we say and the excuses we use everyday (myself included). 

We really don't want to serve our husbands because we are selfish and really want to be served ourselves. We are tired. We have been serving and pleasing all day and we would like a break too.

Yes, your husband should be willing to serve you and do things to please you as well but that is what he needs to work on himself. 

Today is the day to start working on you!

Let God worry about your husband.

What does serving your husband look like?

Well, it's such a wide range of things that it could be. You have to find what works for you and what makes your husband happy. You don't have to be perfect and you don't have to be like everyone else. It's about doing things for him with a loving heart and using the gifts that God gave you.

Please, Please don't compare yourself with other women, you will never measure up if this is what you are doing. I am still learning this myself. Nobody is the same and no relationship is the same. Learn what works for the both of you. Serve in a way that is natural for you. Maybe your husband likes to be served by you paying attention to him, maybe it's doing things he takes an interest in. Maybe it's actually serving him with food or drinks. Maybe it's all of these things. Do something for him that you know he likes without him expecting it.  Figure out what he cares about and do it with and for him.  Serving your husband also doesn't mean beckoning to his every call. It means having an awareness of how you can help. Try to make his life easier. 

What this looks like for my marriage...

Well there are so many areas in our marriage. We are an all of the above marriage. There are some things I feel good about doing for him and some of the things are things he cares about. Most of the things he likes to do I like to do to so its kind of a win win situation. I make sure that everything I need to do is done by the time he gets home from work so we can focus on our time together. He loves it when I play video games with him and watch sports. I make sure his laundry is put away first so he doesn't have to worry about where his clothes are. I get up with him at 4:30 AM to make his lunch, his coffee and see him off. This way he has a worry free morning and day. I like to get him his drinks when he needs them and really I try to do anything he might need. It makes him happy and I want to make him happy. He works really hard and for long hours so I do the yard work and clean the garage too. I just make sure when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything but enjoy the children and get a bit of rest. I'm also at home all the time so this might look a bit different for all you working wives. Service to my husband brings me joy and that's the best part.

I don't always do this so well.

I'm not perfect so I can't do this like I wish I could. We are only human. Marriage is hard. We can't always remember to do things for someone that we live in close quarters with. Sometimes I do get irritated that I do so much. Then there are other times when he remembers to tell me how much he appreciates me and that makes me feel good. Of course I wish he would say this more often but I don't fault him for it because we don't always remember to say the things we think. I do the same thing to him. I think of great things about him but I don't always say it to him. I am trying to train myself to remember to tell him when I think those things because when we hear the good things people think about us it makes us feel wanted and cared about (yes, husbands do need to feel cared and loved for even with their manly surface). But this isn't why we should serve our husbands.

Why serve your husband?

Serving your husband will show him that he is a priority to you. Do you remember when you first met and you wanted to do everything for your him? Remember when it pleased you because everything was new and you didn't expect to get anything in return? We need to get back to doing this. It's important for our marriages.

As you serve your husband your love for him will grow and his will grow for you. The outcome? A better, healthier marriage. 

What the world says?

We live in a society where this is not a normal thing and actually it's looked down upon. What I hear most of the world saying is take care of yourself first. Worry about you. We live in a very selfish world and it's hard to train yourself to do things differently. Most everything we see and watch is about worry about you. Putting yourself first. The "what's in it for me," attitude. We should put others first. First and foremost our husbands but that's not what the world is teaching us. As humans we feel good helping and serving others. At least that has been my experience.

The saying, "Happy Wife, Happy Life," 

it's a true statement but it's also true in reverse.
Happy wife husband, Happy Life!

Not everyone is going to agree with me and that's ok. Not everyone believes the same things, but your marriage will be blessed if you take a few steps to serve your hubby. You don't have to get up early like I do and you don't have to do what other wives do either. Just do what you can do and do it with a loving, serving heart.

  Ephesians 6:7
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.