Serving Your Husband.... Ugh....

Ugh.... why can't he serve me?

I do everything.

I'm just so tired. 

I'm serving the kids and everyone else all day, I just want a break.

These are the kinds of things we say and the excuses we use everyday (myself included). 

We really don't want to serve our husbands because we are selfish and really want to be served ourselves. We are tired. We have been serving and pleasing all day and we would like a break too.

Yes, your husband should be willing to serve you and do things to please you as well but that is what he needs to work on himself. 

Today is the day to start working on you!

Let God worry about your husband.

What does serving your husband look like?

Well, it's such a wide range of things that it could be. You have to find what works for you and what makes your husband happy. You don't have to be perfect and you don't have to be like everyone else. It's about doing things for him with a loving heart and using the gifts that God gave you.

Please, Please don't compare yourself with other women, you will never measure up if this is what you are doing. I am still learning this myself. Nobody is the same and no relationship is the same. Learn what works for the both of you. Serve in a way that is natural for you. Maybe your husband likes to be served by you paying attention to him, maybe it's doing things he takes an interest in. Maybe it's actually serving him with food or drinks. Maybe it's all of these things. Do something for him that you know he likes without him expecting it.  Figure out what he cares about and do it with and for him.  Serving your husband also doesn't mean beckoning to his every call. It means having an awareness of how you can help. Try to make his life easier. 

What this looks like for my marriage...

Well there are so many areas in our marriage. We are an all of the above marriage. There are some things I feel good about doing for him and some of the things are things he cares about. Most of the things he likes to do I like to do to so its kind of a win win situation. I make sure that everything I need to do is done by the time he gets home from work so we can focus on our time together. He loves it when I play video games with him and watch sports. I make sure his laundry is put away first so he doesn't have to worry about where his clothes are. I get up with him at 4:30 AM to make his lunch, his coffee and see him off. This way he has a worry free morning and day. I like to get him his drinks when he needs them and really I try to do anything he might need. It makes him happy and I want to make him happy. He works really hard and for long hours so I do the yard work and clean the garage too. I just make sure when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything but enjoy the children and get a bit of rest. I'm also at home all the time so this might look a bit different for all you working wives. Service to my husband brings me joy and that's the best part.

I don't always do this so well.

I'm not perfect so I can't do this like I wish I could. We are only human. Marriage is hard. We can't always remember to do things for someone that we live in close quarters with. Sometimes I do get irritated that I do so much. Then there are other times when he remembers to tell me how much he appreciates me and that makes me feel good. Of course I wish he would say this more often but I don't fault him for it because we don't always remember to say the things we think. I do the same thing to him. I think of great things about him but I don't always say it to him. I am trying to train myself to remember to tell him when I think those things because when we hear the good things people think about us it makes us feel wanted and cared about (yes, husbands do need to feel cared and loved for even with their manly surface). But this isn't why we should serve our husbands.

Why serve your husband?

Serving your husband will show him that he is a priority to you. Do you remember when you first met and you wanted to do everything for your him? Remember when it pleased you because everything was new and you didn't expect to get anything in return? We need to get back to doing this. It's important for our marriages.

As you serve your husband your love for him will grow and his will grow for you. The outcome? A better, healthier marriage. 

What the world says?

We live in a society where this is not a normal thing and actually it's looked down upon. What I hear most of the world saying is take care of yourself first. Worry about you. We live in a very selfish world and it's hard to train yourself to do things differently. Most everything we see and watch is about worry about you. Putting yourself first. The "what's in it for me," attitude. We should put others first. First and foremost our husbands but that's not what the world is teaching us. As humans we feel good helping and serving others. At least that has been my experience.

The saying, "Happy Wife, Happy Life," 

it's a true statement but it's also true in reverse.
Happy wife husband, Happy Life!

Not everyone is going to agree with me and that's ok. Not everyone believes the same things, but your marriage will be blessed if you take a few steps to serve your hubby. You don't have to get up early like I do and you don't have to do what other wives do either. Just do what you can do and do it with a loving, serving heart.

  Ephesians 6:7
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Working Housewife

A working housewife?

 Does that even make sense? Well, I have only been working 10 hours a week for the last year and a half, so most of the time I am at home. With my older two I worked full-time and that was really hard to balance everything. Sure the money was great but was it worth it? For some of you it is and I'm glad that works for your family. It wasn't for me.

I love my job! 

I do. I have the most rewarding job out of the home. I work at our park district in a small town. I am the only employee and we have volunteers that are on the board that head up all kinds of community events and programs. I actually get paid to help organize these community events (well I mostly do the office work but I help out too). But...........I put in my notice a few weeks ago. I'm staying on for a bit to train the person that they hire. They didn't have anyone in my position when I got hired so I learned a lot and I don't want to leave them hanging when they are so busy organizing events. So I'm just waiting to hear about them hiring someone (which could take a long time because we are such a small town).

I love my kids even more!!

For me my husband and my children are my most important and rewarding job I could ever ask for. I am lucky enough to have a husband that wants me to be at home raising our kids. I think that it's so important for children to have their mothers at home with them.

I know I'm a little old fashion.

At least that is what it feels like in the world today. Years ago all mothers stayed home. I know a lot of women that don't feel that way. They want careers and feel fulfilled with them. I am totally ok with that too. (Remember I worked full-time for years with kids)

I just don't feel that way now. I want to be there anytime my husband or my kids need me.

My kids don't drive me crazy???

A lot of mothers post things on Facebook wishing that summer was over so their kids would go back to school and stop driving them crazy. I am not that mom. I want them with me more often. If they start getting a little stir crazy we just do something else or I send them outside to play.

Our weekends are for fun not work!!!

My husband works long hours. He goes to work at the sawmill at 4:30AM, he gets off that job at 2:30PM. Then he goes to his second job climbing and falling trees until 6PM sometimes later. He is tired! When he gets home all he wants is to have dinner and be able to spend some time with our kids and I before having to go to bed. I do everything around the house including house work, yard work, projects and the normal household chores. I also like to keep a really clean house so this keeps me quite busy. With me not working I feel like I want everything to be done and the house to be nice for him since he works so hard. But... I don't do any of this on the weekends. I do basics like dinner and dishes but for the most part I leave everything (the kids still have to pick up their toys though) so we can focus on our family for the weekend. No matter if that is camping, biking, snow sleding, movie watching or video game playing. I just want the time to be free for us.

What do you think? Do you prefer being a housewife or a working mother? What works for your family?

Proverbs 31:10-31

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.

11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 

12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 

13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 

14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 

15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 

16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 

17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 

18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 

19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 

20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 

21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. 

22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 

23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 

24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. 

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 

26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 

27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 

28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 

29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” 

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.

31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.