Don't Post that on Social Media!

Emotional posting on social media, right or wrong?

Have you ever felt so upset and the only place to vent was on Facebook?

Did you post personal information and details about your life?

About your relationship?

The pain someone has caused you?

Do you want everyone to know your side of the story?

I had a time like this in my life. 

I felt I didn't have anyone to turn to or anyone to talk to. I made the big mistake of posting on social media while feeling emotional (especially in the middle of the night when I was lonely and upset). I think this is such a terrible exploit. People don't need to know your personal details. Your Facebook "friends" don't need to know your emotions or your side of the story. 

I have been thinking about this because a friend of mine is doing the same thing that I had been doing and it just feels wrong. It makes me uncomfortable. Every time I read something I think "oh no, don't post that." I feel like I'm now on the side of so many others that were reading my posts. 

It also makes me think of the other person in a bad light. Now when I'm around that person I look at them differently. I know I shouldn't but you just can't help it.  I know their personal details even when they didn't post them. I feel like I only know one side of the story and I'm judging the person based on what the other person has said.

I also have another friend that has gone through a difficult time and handled it so beautifully.

I wish I could look back on that time of difficulty in my life and say that I handled it well, like her. I wish I could look back and only see positive posts or none at all during that time. I wish I didn't feel ashamed of the things I posted. I wish people would've looked at me with admiration at how well I handled my emotions.

I know how it is.

 I know you just want support from your friends. 

You want your side of the story out there. You want people to know your pain. You feel wronged and want people to know about it. You have a place to post sayings and verses to make you feel better. You have a place that friends will come along and encourage you. It made me feel better at the time too but it was a false feeling. I would've felt better if I just kept to those few close friends that helped me through this time. 

I go into my, On This Day, on Facebook everyday to see old pictures of my kids and I have come across some things this last month that has really bothered me. It was all my postings from a time of pain and suffering. Now that I read them it brings back that pain and suffering. It's hurting myself more now and I see the wrong in what I did. I have been going through and deleting posts every day from during that time just so they don't pop up next year when I look through my old pictures. I don't want to come across this again in the future and bring up old heartache. 

Even if you are right, even if you were wronged, you don't need to post it for everyone to know about. It's only going to cause more hurt and pain. We are so used to posting every detail of our lives from what we are eating for dinner to how a person made us feel and we don't really know when we are crossing the line. We need to have boundaries with what we post. Some things are better left unsaid. If you need to vent then do it to someone you trust so they can bear your burden with you.

God can use the social media tool through you to reach so many people, if used correctly. You can be a shinning light to those that aren't right around you, to the friends and family around the world. It can really be an amazing thing, but it can also do more damage than good if used in the wrong way. Like in gossiping, instead of conforming to the world, be a light and use your words to build others up.

Psalm 19:14: "May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."

The Changing Seasons of Life

Happy Fall!

It's the first day of Fall and I'm so excited!

I absolutely love Fall! 

It's my favorite season for sure as it is for many of us out there. 

We can't wait for cozy nights by the fire, comfy sweaters, delicious food and beautiful colorful leaves. 

I look forward to getting out all my fall decorations and beautifying my house. I can't wait for life to slow down a little and to be enjoying the comfort of my warm home. 

This time of year really makes me think about how glorious God really is. It's astonishing how he created the world to change every season. Down to the very last detail. Every leaf is changing and about to start new.  It makes me think about humans and how he has thought about every last detail. He has our life planned out from the beginning before we are even born. Sometimes in the middle of difficult situations I wonder if God really has my life planned out. Some seasons are just tough. I lose faith. I doubt. 

Autumn is a reminder that seasons change. Hot nights change to cold evenings. Green leaves change to colors of red, orange, and yellow. Whatever difficult situation that you are going through it is just a season. I remember one specific hurtful season I thought it would never get better and the season would never change.  I kept reading reminders on how the pain would pass. How I will look back one day and it wouldn't hurt so much anymore but I didn't believe it. When we are in a time of hurt, loss and pain it's really difficult to believe that there will come a time that it will pass. 

It will pass. 

Maybe that means that you have to go through a time of winter first. Where your leaves will change from red, orange and yellow to a wilted brown and fall off the tree. Maybe you will feel empty for a while as a tree does when it's leaves have all descended. That's okay, you will always come back to a season of Spring where the leaves will turn green again and life will spring back. It may come quickly and for others it may take longer, but it will come. As the seasons come and go focus on God, he will hold you up. He will always be there and he will see you through. God loves us and wants us to be happy. When we hurt, he hurts. Let him hurt with you. Let him be the shoulder you cry on and watch as he changes your life into the life he created for you.

The seasons come and go, so focus on the God who remains unchanged and unchanging. "Lord, you have been our dwelling place in all generations. Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, even from everlasting to everlasting, You are God" 

Psalm 90:1-2

. 

I need more!!!!

I need more, more of everything!

Well, I want more.

Want and need are so very different 

and yet sometimes we use those two words as the same meaning.

Are you content with what you have?
Are you always wanting more in life?

Do you desire a new car, the latest fashion, a bigger and better house?
When will we ever be content?

My son was just telling me this last week that he needs a laptop (he's 10 by the way). So we went through the talk about if he needs it or wants it. He agreed that he really just wanted it. It's easy as parents to teach our children the difference of what they need verses what they want but as adults we just don't seem to be able to take our own advice. We never seem to be satisfied with our lives. We live in times where bigger and more is better. So when my son and I, talked about that I realized that sometimes I take these two words the same as well. Most of the time I feel like I need more. I compare my life to the lives of others around me or to the lives of famous people. I know that if I got all the things that I want there would still be more things to be desired. There will always be something new and different but I just can't seem to be satisfied. 

We live in a fast paced world. 
Everyone is always going and going. 
Must have more, have my kids in more sports, go shopping more often, work more hours, do more with friends, more projects, more everything........
What are you sacrificing to get what you want? 
Time with your kids?
Time with your spouse? 
How about your extended family?
The big question, how about yourself?
Is what you want more important than those around you? Once you acquire those items you are working so hard for, will it be too late? Will your children be grown and gone? Will you have anyone left to enjoy those things with?

We seem to look at this only with relationships but it also applies with our lives. We always look elsewhere and say, "if I only have that item my life will be better." We look to other people to tell us when we will be happy. 
When we have a nice, big house like those people.
 When my babies are grown.
When the weather changes. 
When I leave my spouse. 

Why can't we be happy and satisfied with right now? 
Right where you are in your life. 
With your babies waking up in the middle of the night. 
With your teenager stressing you out. 
With the money struggles your having. 
With the family you have.
With the spouse God gave you.
Why don't we look for the happiness right in the place God has placed you?
Even with the seasons. We can't just be happy with what season we are in. Come August they are already putting out Halloween items. It's still Summer people! Can't we at least wait until Autumn? Don't get me wrong Autumn is my favorite time of year so I have a hard time waiting to put out my decorations but why do we rush things. We are making the years fly by, by always looking ahead. Then when the years are gone we look back and wish we were there, wish we would've enjoyed our children a little more, wish we could soak up our family time.

It's not about looking forward, it's not about looking back. It's about paying attention to where you are, who your with, and what you have. 
You are taken care of. God will take care of you. You will be provided for with what you need. 
Just slow down and spend time enjoying your loved ones and what you have right now. 
Learn to be pleased with your life. 


Matthew 6:25-26
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet the heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

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What is Beautiful?

What is Beautiful?

Where do we look to find beauty?

Magazines? Movies? Friends? God?

What defines your beauty?

Feeling beautiful is such a hard subject for me. 

I have never felt beautiful.

Since I was a kid I was made fun of by multiple classmates. I started wearing make up and really caring about my looks when I hit 7th grade. I got tired of people making fun of me and I wanted to be someone different than who I had been. For me the people around me defined my beauty and still does. I still measure myself against everyone I meet, even women I just pass by in the grocery store. I have been overweight for most of my life, except a few short times. My weight has fluctuated over the years so that has added a lot to how I feel. I always hated my freckles and use make up to cover them as much as possible. I still won't even go out of my house without make up on and I put it on right after I get out of the shower, I workout in make up, I do yard work in make up, most of the time I go to bed with make up because I don't want to look bad, I always have make up on. I don't really like looking in mirrors or taking pictures. I'm constantly self conscious of what others think of me. When I'm out I think people are looking at me and judging me. I don't really like to eat in public because I feel like people will judge me because I am too fat to be eating. Even when people have said I am beautiful I use the excuse that they didn't really mean it. I mean, how bad is that, that I can't even believe other people when they say something nice. 

I can be in a room with other women and I will get so down on myself. I will feel worse and worse the longer I'm there. I compare everything about myself to those around me. I think things like; everyone else is prettier than me, I'm so fat that I shouldn't even be in public, why would anyone even want to look at me, I wish I could lose weight so I can look like them, I wish I had nice legs, I wish I could wear nice clothes and have them look good on me, I just want to be skinny and pretty. 

I'm my own worst critic!

Why do I let the world tell me how I should look?

Why do I feel like I need to look like everyone else to be beautiful?

We live in a society that puts a high degree of importance on physical appearance. It demands us to glamorize ourselves before we are deemed attractive. Our society neglects the other aspects of beauty besides the physical nature of a woman. If you don't look like a model then you are unattractive. We spend so much money on beauty products and surgeries every year and we are still not satisfied with how we look. Young women in their twenties are having surgeries and Botox and just continue to change their looks every chance they get.

What truly makes a woman beautiful?

True beauty comes from within. 
We have all heard this and know it but do we really believe it?

“Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.” 
― Kahlil Gibran

 I found a list of what men think are qualities of a beautiful woman; passion, compassion, confidence, takes care of herself, accepting of her body, her smile, intelligence, optimism, what makes her unique and many more. 
This is a list from men? 
How cool is that? They really think beauty is being secure in ourselves and be whatever it is that makes us, us. So it's true that beauty comes from within. It's what makes you, you  that makes you beautiful.  

What do we look like through God's eyes? 

When God looks at us he sees someone so very beautiful. We are his daughters and he created us to all be beautifully different. He sees each of us as flawless, beauty radiating creatures. He doesn't want us to change anything about ourselves. He created you to be unique and he loves every part of you. If we were all the same we would be quite boring. 

We've all been there at least at one point in our lives and for some of us it's an everyday battle. We don't ever feel like we are good enough, like we will never measure up. We place unrealistic expectations on ourselves and we are pressing thoughts of discouragement even further into our hearts. Why do we feel unwanted, undesirable, and unaccepted?

We should try to see ourselves the way God sees us. We need to stop thinking about everyone else and start being ourselves. Find what you like, what your passionate about, what your good at and excel at these things. Be kind and loving. Find the quirks that make you special and enjoy those things. Enjoy your freckles, your crooked nose, your curly hair. Just be you and emit the best you. Be the woman that God made you to be and there you will find the beauty inside which will radiate out of you.

1 Peter 3:3-4   Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight.

Stop Worrying and Start Living

Worrying: causing anxiety about actual or potential problems.

This is the definition of worrying. 

I am a woman that  has worrying down.

I'm so good at it.

It's my specialty.

What keeps you up at night? Money, kids, marriage, friends, government, health?

Did you know that worrying can actually cause medical issues? 

Excessive worrying causes the fight or flight response according to Web MD. It causes the body's sympathetic nervous system to release stress hormones such as cortisol. These hormones boost blood sugar levels and triglycerides that can cause physical reactions like: depression, suppression of the immune system, digestive disorders, muscle tension, short-term memory loss, premature coronary artery disease and heart attack.

That is so crazy when you think about it (or don't because you might start worrying). 

When you Google worrying there are so many pages with steps to help you. Things like: sleep, exercise, knitting, and hydrating. There are so many help sites out there from every point of view. Whatever you need someone has the answer.

I'm the queen bee of worrying. Just ask my husband. I worry about things from what I need to get done to things that might possibly happen in 10 years. Sometimes I make up things in my head and start worrying about them even though they aren't real. Sometimes my worrying can rule every moment of my life. It's a bigger problem when it starts causing issues in my relationships. There are even sometimes that I worry about worrying. Things like: did I make my husband upset because I was worried? My worries will also rule my sleep, like the last couple of nights. I have been having some days filled with worries and even though my husband talks with me and makes me feel better sometimes it doesn't always help perfectly. The last few nights I have had some awful dreams (I don't usually remember my dreams either) but last night was the worst. It was the worst dream that I have had in a really long time. I woke up crying and I accidentally woke my husband up in the process. He made me feel better and gave me some much needed love, but now I have to go through my day reminding myself that this was a dream and the feelings weren't real. I have to make sure it doesn't spark more worry in my mind. Worry can become a domino effect, it can just continue into a much bigger problem and it all started in my head.  Sometimes my worries are small (I look back and realize they were silly) and sometimes they are issues that I feel are bigger than they actually are. 

I have to stop and think about what I'm doing.
 I have to think if it's real or if it's made up in my head. When I know that I am thinking about something that isn't real and it's destructive then I try to remember to turn myself to God and ask him to fill my mind with more constructive things. I don't always go this route and sometimes I just give in to the worry and let it take over. That's when the real trouble starts. I can go from worrying to being really upset.

"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened."

 -Mark Twain

This quote is so me. I have so many troubles that haven't even happened. I wasn't always this way.
I remember when I was mostly worry free. Where worry didn't rule my life. My goal is to get back there to that place. To give my worries over to God to handle.

We (myself included) have to stop focusing our thoughts on events that haven't even taken place. Worrying accomplishes nothing and it can keep you from living the life God has intended for you. These are the things I try to remind myself daily.Worrying exaggerates the problem. Worry cannot change the past and it can't control the future. Worrying is keeping you from so many things in life. It keeps us from focusing on our husbands and fully enjoying our children. It stops us from finding joy where we are in our lives. We don't know how long we have to be on this earth and we need to start living our lives to the fullest. If we knew it was our last day we would be living differently than we are right now. Live each day as if it was our last. Do you want to be remembered as the loved one that had many worries or the one that really lived life? We have got to stop worrying and start living!

Matthew 6:34  “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.

Serving Your Husband.... Ugh....

Ugh.... why can't he serve me?

I do everything.

I'm just so tired. 

I'm serving the kids and everyone else all day, I just want a break.

These are the kinds of things we say and the excuses we use everyday (myself included). 

We really don't want to serve our husbands because we are selfish and really want to be served ourselves. We are tired. We have been serving and pleasing all day and we would like a break too.

Yes, your husband should be willing to serve you and do things to please you as well but that is what he needs to work on himself. 

Today is the day to start working on you!

Let God worry about your husband.

What does serving your husband look like?

Well, it's such a wide range of things that it could be. You have to find what works for you and what makes your husband happy. You don't have to be perfect and you don't have to be like everyone else. It's about doing things for him with a loving heart and using the gifts that God gave you.

Please, Please don't compare yourself with other women, you will never measure up if this is what you are doing. I am still learning this myself. Nobody is the same and no relationship is the same. Learn what works for the both of you. Serve in a way that is natural for you. Maybe your husband likes to be served by you paying attention to him, maybe it's doing things he takes an interest in. Maybe it's actually serving him with food or drinks. Maybe it's all of these things. Do something for him that you know he likes without him expecting it.  Figure out what he cares about and do it with and for him.  Serving your husband also doesn't mean beckoning to his every call. It means having an awareness of how you can help. Try to make his life easier. 

What this looks like for my marriage...

Well there are so many areas in our marriage. We are an all of the above marriage. There are some things I feel good about doing for him and some of the things are things he cares about. Most of the things he likes to do I like to do to so its kind of a win win situation. I make sure that everything I need to do is done by the time he gets home from work so we can focus on our time together. He loves it when I play video games with him and watch sports. I make sure his laundry is put away first so he doesn't have to worry about where his clothes are. I get up with him at 4:30 AM to make his lunch, his coffee and see him off. This way he has a worry free morning and day. I like to get him his drinks when he needs them and really I try to do anything he might need. It makes him happy and I want to make him happy. He works really hard and for long hours so I do the yard work and clean the garage too. I just make sure when he gets home he doesn't have to do anything but enjoy the children and get a bit of rest. I'm also at home all the time so this might look a bit different for all you working wives. Service to my husband brings me joy and that's the best part.

I don't always do this so well.

I'm not perfect so I can't do this like I wish I could. We are only human. Marriage is hard. We can't always remember to do things for someone that we live in close quarters with. Sometimes I do get irritated that I do so much. Then there are other times when he remembers to tell me how much he appreciates me and that makes me feel good. Of course I wish he would say this more often but I don't fault him for it because we don't always remember to say the things we think. I do the same thing to him. I think of great things about him but I don't always say it to him. I am trying to train myself to remember to tell him when I think those things because when we hear the good things people think about us it makes us feel wanted and cared about (yes, husbands do need to feel cared and loved for even with their manly surface). But this isn't why we should serve our husbands.

Why serve your husband?

Serving your husband will show him that he is a priority to you. Do you remember when you first met and you wanted to do everything for your him? Remember when it pleased you because everything was new and you didn't expect to get anything in return? We need to get back to doing this. It's important for our marriages.

As you serve your husband your love for him will grow and his will grow for you. The outcome? A better, healthier marriage. 

What the world says?

We live in a society where this is not a normal thing and actually it's looked down upon. What I hear most of the world saying is take care of yourself first. Worry about you. We live in a very selfish world and it's hard to train yourself to do things differently. Most everything we see and watch is about worry about you. Putting yourself first. The "what's in it for me," attitude. We should put others first. First and foremost our husbands but that's not what the world is teaching us. As humans we feel good helping and serving others. At least that has been my experience.

The saying, "Happy Wife, Happy Life," 

it's a true statement but it's also true in reverse.
Happy wife husband, Happy Life!

Not everyone is going to agree with me and that's ok. Not everyone believes the same things, but your marriage will be blessed if you take a few steps to serve your hubby. You don't have to get up early like I do and you don't have to do what other wives do either. Just do what you can do and do it with a loving, serving heart.

  Ephesians 6:7
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not people,

Ephesians 5:22
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

The Dangers of a Wandering Eye.

The flirtatious woman.
The wandering eye of a man.
What is going on in this world?

I just heard today about another broken family because a man became distracted and "in love" with another woman. This is the 3rd family in the last couple of months in my small town (2,100 people). I have experienced this myself and let me tell you it is the most painful thing a woman will go through besides loosing a child. My whole world came crashing down around me and there was nothing I could do about it. I was in a hole that I couldn't climb out of and the person that I loved dropped me in and walked away. I couldn't eat, or sleep, or function. The extent of brokenness that I felt can never be fully explained. It really felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. My life was in shambles. Never in my life have I felt this much pain. I know the pain first hand that these women and women all over this world are going through and I wish they didn't have to walk this heart breaking walk.You never know the depth of pain someone else is going through until you go through a similar situation. It hurts, and I feel crushed just hearing about it.

Not all of these women are Christians either and I feel for them. At least I had Jesus to rely on. I had him to scream and cry out to. I had a shoulder to cry on all day and even in the middle of the night. He gave me hope, my only hope. He gave me promises that I didn't understand at the moment. Promises of a better future. 

If we as women stood together, supported and celebrated each other's marriages around us then this wouldn't be an issue. There is something wrong with the world and the way young women are being raised when they think it's ok to take another woman's husband. To flirt with him and try to win his heart. They need to turn around and walk away, not plan to tear a family apart. Back off that man! That man is someone else's, not yours!

About a year ago, I was in a store purchasing work pants with my husband and there was a young girl behind the counter. As soon as she looked up she looked directly at my husband and became super cheerful and said she could help with anything needed just let her know. Then she looked at me and dropped her smile to a frown and turned around. She seemed to be at every corner in the store as we walked around just smiling at my husband. I mentioned this to my husband as we left the store and he was oblivious to this particular situation. I just can't believe women actually think this is okay behavior. Why do you need this kind of attention??? Why do you need it from my husband??? Aren't there plenty of single men around that you can get your attention from?

Women these days are looking for the wrong attention. What happened to just being women, having values and waiting for the right man to come along? Why do they need to steal from a marriage?

I just don't understand it.

Another time we were in a grocery store, walking around with my husband and all three of our children. We were coming down the frozen section straight towards the check out line and a young girl working there turned around and saw my husband. As we walked down the aisle she continued to stare and smile at him. When we got closer she followed him with her eyes then turned to look at me and just looked at me with no expression. Just no care at all to what she was doing.

This is so disrespectful!

Anytime we are in a public place I can pick out the girls that are like this. There are some really great women out there that will be sure to be polite but make sure to pay more attention to the wife and I think this is a respectful thing to do. Then there are the girls that walk around flirty, flipping their hair around looking all over the place for someone to look their direction and give them attention. They don't care who the attention is coming from as long as they are getting it.

Those are the ones that I'm talking about.

Where are the morals?

Where is the respect for yourself?

What has happened to us beautiful, caring, loving women?
Some women are just dangerous!

Now to the Men!

Some men acknowledge that they get distracted by women and set up boundaries to protect their marriage. Then there are other men that allow themselves to be distracted. They are willing participants because they also like the attention and they're bored in their marriage. They allow themselves to believe that this new person gives them more attention. It's exciting and new. They believe all the lies that they are telling themselves.

They also like the excuse that their wife didn't love them anyways (which is never true). They tell themselves, and the new woman in their life, that to make them feel better. These men don't understand the extent of pain they are going to be putting upon their family. Their children. Destroying the lives of so many others just for a little pleasure.
You are supposed to be the leader of your family, and you are abandoning them. You are supposed to love, honor and cherish your wife. Your supposed to be a good example for your children to follow. 
Is this the kind of man you want your son to be? 
Is this the kind of man you want your daughter to marry?
Eventually the other woman will be the same way with you as your wife is and you will become bored once again. This "new" woman is putting on her best behavior, her best performance to win you over, you will eventually see the real person she is. It's only exciting at first. Just like it was exciting when you met your wife. Life gets in the way of a marriage when you let it. Maybe if you spent more time admiring your wife and spending your time and energy on your wife then you would have a happier, more exciting marriage. You can't always just wait for her to do things for you. If you want to be happy in your marriage then make it happen. 
Make better choices!

For the men that are trying to be good, these women make it so much harder. Temptation of women is already so difficult for men and it's harder when women are throwing themselves at them. To those men that are devoted to their wives I commend you. Keep up the good work. I'm sure God is blessing you and your family because of your leadership.

Now, I'm not just talking to men because women leave their husbands all the time for other men. I'm only basically using them because it's been happening near me. 
I believe it's never a good situation for a man and a woman to work together, have personal time together or personal messages. It's too easy for them to become attracted to one another. If you can't do it in front of your wife then you are already cheating. I don't believe that men and women should be friends outside of marriage. Your husband/wife should be your friend. If you can't share everything with your spouse then that's where you need to start working, not going to someone else to talk. Sure there are some relationships where they can just be friends but it's better to put up boundaries and limits before there is ever a chance of something happening. I wouldn't want to risk my marriage, would you?

Relationships that come out of these situations aren't real, they are built on lies and deceit. The men and women involved in these relationships are lying to themselves as much as to everyone else. They think what they are doing is the right thing. It's not! You need to look inside yourself because there are feelings that God gives us to let us know that what we are doing isn't the right thing. God is telling you the correct path to take even if you don't want to take it. Men, God will never put someone else in your life for you to love other than your wife. Women, God will never deliver you someone else's husband. It's your choice to go against Gods plan for your life and a plan other than God's will never work out the way you hoped. His plan is always the right path.

Women, we can do this!
We can respect each other. 
We can respect ourselves.
We can come together as women, loving each other and caring for one another.
We need to build each other up.
If we care for each other, we are going to care for every woman's marriage and families as well. Stop being jealous of one another and be proud and supportive. 
We are powerful beings if we just learn to stop hurting one another. If we band together we can change things. 
We can change the world!

Mark 10:6-9

But at the beginning of creation God made them make and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.