Wednesday, August 17, 2016

The Dangers of a Wandering Eye.




The flirtatious woman.
The wandering eye of a man.
What is going on in this world?

I just heard today about another broken family because a man became distracted and "in love" with another woman. This is the 3rd family in the last couple of months in my small town (2,100 people). I have experienced this myself and let me tell you it is the most painful thing a woman will go through besides loosing a child. My whole world came crashing down around me and there was nothing I could do about it. I was in a hole that I couldn't climb out of and the person that I loved dropped me in and walked away. I couldn't eat, or sleep, or function. The extent of brokenness that I felt can never be fully explained. It really felt like my heart was being ripped from my chest. My life was in shambles. Never in my life have I felt this much pain. I know the pain first hand that these women and women all over this world are going through and I wish they didn't have to walk this heart breaking walk.You never know the depth of pain someone else is going through until you go through a similar situation. It hurts, and I feel crushed just hearing about it.

Not all of these women are Christians either and I feel for them. At least I had Jesus to rely on. I had him to scream and cry out to. I had a shoulder to cry on all day and even in the middle of the night. He gave me hope, my only hope. He gave me promises that I didn't understand at the moment. Promises of a better future. 

If we as women stood together, supported and celebrated each other's marriages around us then this wouldn't be an issue. There is something wrong with the world and the way young women are being raised when they think it's ok to take another woman's husband. To flirt with him and try to win his heart. They need to turn around and walk away, not plan to tear a family apart. Back off that man! That man is someone else's, not yours!

About a year ago, I was in a store purchasing work pants with my husband and there was a young girl behind the counter. As soon as she looked up she looked directly at my husband and became super cheerful and said she could help with anything needed just let her know. Then she looked at me and dropped her smile to a frown and turned around. She seemed to be at every corner in the store as we walked around just smiling at my husband. I mentioned this to my husband as we left the store and he was oblivious to this particular situation. I just can't believe women actually think this is okay behavior. Why do you need this kind of attention??? Why do you need it from my husband??? Aren't there plenty of single men around that you can get your attention from?
Women these days are looking for the wrong attention. What happened to just being women, having values and waiting for the right man to come along? Why do they need to steal from a marriage?
I just don't understand it.

Another time we were in a grocery store, walking around with my husband and all three of our children. We were coming down the frozen section straight towards the check out line and a young girl working there turned around and saw my husband. As we walked down the aisle she continued to stare and smile at him. When we got closer she followed him with her eyes then turned to look at me and just looked at me with no expression. Just no care at all to what she was doing.
This is so disrespectful!

Anytime we are in a public place I can pick out the girls that are like this. There are some really great women out there that will be sure to be polite but make sure to pay more attention to the wife and I think this is a respectful thing to do. Then there are the girls that walk around flirty, flipping their hair around looking all over the place for someone to look their direction and give them attention. They don't care who the attention is coming from as long as they are getting it.

Those are the ones that I'm talking about.
Where are the morals?
Where is the respect for yourself?
What has happened to us beautiful, caring, loving women?
Some women are just dangerous!

Now to the Men!
Some men acknowledge that they get distracted by women and set up boundaries to protect their marriage. Then there are other men that allow themselves to be distracted. They are willing participants because they also like the attention and they're bored in their marriage. They allow themselves to believe that this new person gives them more attention. It's exciting and new. They believe all the lies that they are telling themselves.
They also like the excuse that their wife didn't love them anyways (which is never true). They tell themselves, and the new woman in their life, that to make them feel better. These men don't understand the extent of pain they are going to be putting upon their family. Their children. Destroying the lives of so many others just for a little pleasure.
You are supposed to be the leader of your family, and you are abandoning them. You are supposed to love, honor and cherish your wife. Your supposed to be a good example for your children to follow. 
Is this the kind of man you want your son to be? 
Is this the kind of man you want your daughter to marry?
Eventually the other woman will be the same way with you as your wife is and you will become bored once again. This "new" woman is putting on her best behavior, her best performance to win you over, you will eventually see the real person she is. It's only exciting at first. Just like it was exciting when you met your wife. Life gets in the way of a marriage when you let it. Maybe if you spent more time admiring your wife and spending your time and energy on your wife then you would have a happier, more exciting marriage. You can't always just wait for her to do things for you. If you want to be happy in your marriage then make it happen. 
Make better choices!

For the men that are trying to be good, these women make it so much harder. Temptation of women is already so difficult for men and it's harder when women are throwing themselves at them. To those men that are devoted to their wives I commend you. Keep up the good work. I'm sure God is blessing you and your family because of your leadership.

Now, I'm not just talking to men because women leave their husbands all the time for other men. I'm only basically using them because it's been happening near me. 
I believe it's never a good situation for a man and a woman to work together, have personal time together or personal messages. It's too easy for them to become attracted to one another. If you can't do it in front of your wife then you are already cheating. I don't believe that men and women should be friends outside of marriage. Your husband/wife should be your friend. If you can't share everything with your spouse then that's where you need to start working, not going to someone else to talk. Sure there are some relationships where they can just be friends but it's better to put up boundaries and limits before there is ever a chance of something happening. I wouldn't want to risk my marriage, would you?

Relationships that come out of these situations aren't real, they are built on lies and deceit. The men and women involved in these relationships are lying to themselves as much as to everyone else. They think what they are doing is the right thing. It's not! You need to look inside yourself because there are feelings that God gives us to let us know that what we are doing isn't the right thing. God is telling you the correct path to take even if you don't want to take it. Men, God will never put someone else in your life for you to love other than your wife. Women, God will never deliver you someone else's husband. It's your choice to go against Gods plan for your life and a plan other than God's will never work out the way you hoped. His plan is always the right path.



Women, we can do this!
We can respect each other. 
We can respect ourselves.
We can come together as women, loving each other and caring for one another.
We need to build each other up.
If we care for each other, we are going to care for every woman's marriage and families as well. Stop being jealous of one another and be proud and supportive. 
We are powerful beings if we just learn to stop hurting one another. If we band together we can change things. 
We can change the world!




Mark 10:6-9
But at the beginning of creation God made them make and female. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.


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