Friday, July 29, 2016

The Embarrassing Child Screaming in Costco Dilemma



I would never be that parent!
At least that's what I thought.
This was my second child and my oldest girl (who was 5 by this point) would never have thought of throwing a screaming tantrum in a store. I thought I had it covered. I knew how to deal with these kind of situations. I dealt with them before they happened. I never gave in so they would understand that they don't get what they want all the time. I just wasn't that screaming child parent. 

Until my son came along...... He was three years old at this point in his little life. 
We were casually shopping in Costco (which is always their favorite place because of the snacks). We were walking the aisles like we would normally do. We love to spend extra time in Costco looking at all the fun things they have. My daughter is walking along the cart and my son is in the basket. My son asked for a toy and like I normally would I told him that he can look at it and hold it but he has to put it back because we weren't going to be buying it. He looked at it for a minute or so, then I went to put it back on the shelf. He started to get upset. I reminded him that we aren't buying it and I told him that when I let him hold the toy.
 It continued to escalate from there.
He started crying louder and louder. I tried the talking approach, didn't work. I tried the ignoring approach but that did nothing. I tried the loving approach, didn't help at all. I even tried to bribe him at this point, no change (normally one of the first three would have helped).
So I told him that we were going to have to leave the store if he didn't stop crying. It got worse so I left my ex husband with my daughter and I started carrying my son through Costco out to the car. 
It was so embarrassing to be that mother walking through a store with a screaming child. Everyone was looking at us, of course. 
Then, to extend the level of embarrassment that I am already enduring he starts slapping my face. Luckily, we were exiting the door. I held his hands down so he couldn't slap me anymore. It was so humiliating. When we got to the car, I strapped him into his car seat so I could take a breather before talking to him. He immediately calmed down as I climbed into the front seat. I turned on the car and the A/C to cool down. Then he started the sad cry and just kept saying, "I'm sorry mommy," over and over. It made my heart melt. So when we were both fully calmed down I turned towards the back seat to talk to him. We talked about what he did wrong and how he can handle calming down the next time this happens (better not be a next time). He apologized and I took him out of his car seat so we could hug and give kisses. 

So far, this has been the first and last time I have had a screaming child in a store. Not that I judged mom's that have gone through this before, usually I just feel for them. But after this I had a whole new understanding of what those mother's have gone through. 
So I commend all those mother's of a screaming child!
Strength be with you :)

Proverbs 29:17
Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.


Loving others when you really don't want to.



You know that one person (or many people) in your life or that you have crossed paths with that just get to you? 
The ones that you just want to get away from as soon as possible? The ones that make you feel terrible just by being in the same room? 
Those are the people that need the most love. 
It's hard to love others sometimes.
At other times people make it really easy. But most of the time people are difficult.
Most people have heard the saying up above. It's true, not just for women but for all of us. 
Have you ever wondered what that crabby person working at McDonalds has gone through that day or that month? Or the rude homeless man? Or maybe even your boss? Maybe someone you see at the coffee shop everyday? 
People are difficult and hard to love. It's hard to smile and be nice to that neighbor that is just rude and disrespectful. That person that gives you that horrible look each day when you see them while getting lunch. Those people that look down on you as if they are better. It's hard to Love when people make you feel awful.

Ephesians 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love.

There are so many books, websites and posts about loving others and how you can reach beyond yourself. You can google and get everyone's opinions of how to do this. Walk into a book store and see shelves of books on loving others. Yet we still don't know how to do it.

What about family? Friends? Coworkers? Do we really take the time anymore to find out what the difficulties are in the lives of the people close to us? I have had multiple young men take their lives around me lately and I just wonder how many of us look back and wonder if we could've taken more time to find out about them and what they were going through. We as a human race know how to hide how we feel really well. We all have things hidden that we don't want to talk to others about. Things we are ashamed of. Things we are hurt by. But would that change if someone really asked us? I don't mean the usual, "how are you?" that we always say and expect someone to just say, "oh, good" and walk on by. I'm talking about actually taking the time to care about others around us. Taking the time to stop and really ask. Or talk to that person in the coffee shop. Or that difficult neighbor. 

All it takes is Love!
Slow down and think about others around you instead of what you need to do next and where you need to be. We live in such a selfish world and we are always thinking about what we need to buy and what we want to plan for our future that we are running around from place to place never stopping to think of others. I'm not saying that I'm good at this because I'm not. I have the hardest time when I'm around others not worrying about my own insecurities. Or too busy just watching and dealing with my kids to pay attention to others around me. Sometimes I even have so many worries of my own that I forget to even ask or listen to my own husband. 

Enemies! 
Loving your enemies is the hardest of all. Loving the ones that have hurt you. How about Loving the ones that have hurt a family member or friend? I didn't fully understand this for the longest time. I didn't really have any enemies my struggles were always just difficult people but now I have someone that has hurt me deeply. This person also hurt my family deeply and did it for their own satisfaction with no thought or care to the people they hurt. So this is such a struggle for me. I have to remind myself of this all the time and I don't know how I will really respond when this person and I come in contact (which will happen eventually because we live in a small town). 
God calls us to Love our enemies because he knows it will be better for US in the long run. It will help us to forgive them and become more like Jesus.  
Luke 6:35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked


Loving others will help us find peace and joy in the midst of struggles and sin.
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

So the next time you see that person, or even if you think about them. Remember to show Love at all times. Take time out of your busy schedule to really listen to someone else.
Then you will realize that your not the only one struggling! 



Thursday, July 28, 2016

Why I want another baby!



Another BABY?
Why in the world would I want another baby?

As a kid I always knew I wanted a lot of children. I just love little ones. From middle of the night wakings to learning to throw a ball and even to the tantrums that you try not to laugh at.
Of course life brings changes. Some things just happen and some are by choices we make. Only God knows the real out come of our lives. 

I want my children to grow up in a family with a lot of brothers and sisters. I tell my kids all the time to be kind to one another because they will always be in each other's lives and they will always be family. I love to hear them playing together and enjoying each other. 

When we are old!

Think about it? Later in life our home will be filled with so much love. It will be full of our children and grand children running around playing and getting into mischief. I just think about it and look forward to those days in the future and it makes me smile. 

Entertainment Centers!

They are the best entertainment centers. My kids love to entertain each other. They play together with all of their free time. They hardly ever fight (it does happen, just not that often). I just look in their rooms while I'm making dinner and watch them playing Lego's together or reading on their bean bags. It just makes my heart soar.

The rough world!

This world is getting worse everyday. I worry about the world they are being brought up into. There are so many things that I don't want my kids to be exposed to that they are now learning in school at a very young age. I try my best to protect my kids from all the harmful things in this world, while teaching them the real issues going on today. I wish we lived in a better, safer, and morally sound world but we don't. So It's up to us parents to raise children with these values and the love of God so they can take it out into the world and change it.

Plus it's biblical....lol

Psalm 127:3-5
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

So to sum it up, yes I would like to have more children. The amount? As many as my husband will allow me to have. Do I care if people look at me strange when I have three children already? No! Everyone has their own opinion on this matter. So for those of you not wanting children, or wanting only one or two. I say that is wonderful. Enjoy your life, no matter how large your family!

Monday, July 25, 2016

Me Time! Recharge Time!


I hate the phrase "Me Time"!
I feel like it sounds so selfish and in these very selfish days I feel I should be careful how I say things. 
I know that probably sounds silly to most of you. Most mom's I know use that phrase often. I know it's good to have time for myself and I do love nap time but I just don't like the phrase.It is really important for mothers to get time to themselves. It's important to still be you and do what you love to do. 
I love saying recharging. That's what I'm doing, I'm recharging and getting myself some time to be me.
My time for myself is during nap time and it depends on the season and day of the week on what I do with that time.
Summer time!
During summer I love to take that time to read while laying out in the sunshine tanning, paint my nails, work out or of course yard work with no interruptions is always nice.
Winter time!
In the winter I like to read, paint or workout. 
On weekends I like to take nap time and spend it with my husband in usually whatever he would like to do (which is video games). 
In our house we love nap time. It's such a quiet time of day to relax. The older two kids will read books or play a board game. 
It's just a nice time to relax together and just have a bit of quiet time. 


Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.












Us, We are an Us!

Us! 
I just love that!
When we get married we become, Us. 
I love being an Us. 

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave. 
 -Martin Luther
I love having my husband come home every day and seeing his smile.  I can't wait to get his kiss. I love being able to spend time with him and have dinner together. I look forward to it all day. I love having him to snuggle up to at night and keep warm. I love having a partner through everything. If I am worried, he's there to reassure me. If I'm upset, he's there to comfort me. He's there to tell me if my clothes look bad or if there is something in my teeth.

We enjoy the same things and always have some one to be on the same team. 

We always have each other to build one another up or to carry us when we are down. 
What  a wonderful thing, to have each other! 
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him-a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 




Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Potty Training at 18 months is possible!!

Ahhhh...... don't you all just love potty training?????
With my oldest daughter I worked at a school so I had one week off for Easter break and I thought I would use that to potty train her. She was fully potty trained by the end of the week (except for over night).
My son was a different story. I tried at 20 months and he didn't get it and wasn't totally interested so we took a break. Then started again at 24 months and he picked it up.
Now, our 2 year old picked up quite quickly as well. She was just 18 months. It only took a little over a week.
The secret????
Everyone always asks me how I did it so young and so fast. It was pretty simple. I know some people are against this way of doing it and that's fine. Everyone has their own opinion of how it should be done.
Positive reinforcements!!!
I start with them picking out a potty seat (I don't like the ones on the floor, I want them to feel as big as us so I use the ones that sit on the toilet), fun character undies and pull ups (don't go back to using diapers it will only confuse them). We get mini M&M's and some entertainment. With the first two I had little tables I made and we would play Playdough while on the potty. For the youngest she just loves books so much that I didn't even need a table. I just brought books in with us. I don't use the undies for a bit in the beginning they just go naked until they get it down a little (otherwise you will be washing under wear constantly). We will talk about being a big kid and how everyone else goes on the potty like a big (girl, boy).  Then we get started. YAY!
I just let them roam naked and watch them like a hawk (don't plan on cleaning or doing anything during these days). I take them to the potty every 30 minutes or more depending on how much they are drinking. I give them a lot of fluids so they will have more chances of successes. When there is a #1 they get 3 little candies. When there is a #2 they can put their hand in for a handful (which really with their small hands I think the most my daughter picked up at one time was 7). I had one bag and it lasted so long even with my husband stealing handfuls. I put it in a clear Tupperware so they can see through and when it's gone, it's gone.  Also when they have a success whoever was in the house would run into the bathroom and clap and cheer (that seems to really do it for them, they love the attention). Sometimes for our youngest we would all be in the bathroom even with Grandma over. It was pretty fun for us all.
Going out!
Don't go out anywhere until they get it down enough to have a little control. Give it a couple of days. Then let them wear a pull up but make a point to take them to the potty most places you go so they get comfortable with other potties. I replace the diapers in the diaper bag with the potty seat and take it into every store or restaurant so I'm prepared (you won't have to do this forever).
Don't give up!
The most important thing is to keep at it. I got really frustrated at one point with our youngest because after a couple days she did really good for a day then went backwards. I was talking to my husband about it and he told me just to stick with it and gave me so much encouragement. She was much better the next day and I'm so glad I didn't give up.
Now she is 2 and she hasn't worn a pull up in about 2 months and rarely has an accident at night (only when she was sick). We are so happy that we did this early so we didn't have to do diapers anymore. We are all happier!

 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. – Philippians 4:13

Working Housewife

A working housewife?
 Does that even make sense? Well, I have only been working 10 hours a week for the last year and a half, so most of the time I am at home. With my older two I worked full-time and that was really hard to balance everything. Sure the money was great but was it worth it? For some of you it is and I'm glad that works for your family. It wasn't for me.
I love my job! 
I do. I have the most rewarding job out of the home. I work at our park district in a small town. I am the only employee and we have volunteers that are on the board that head up all kinds of community events and programs. I actually get paid to help organize these community events (well I mostly do the office work but I help out too). But...........I put in my notice a few weeks ago. I'm staying on for a bit to train the person that they hire. They didn't have anyone in my position when I got hired so I learned a lot and I don't want to leave them hanging when they are so busy organizing events. So I'm just waiting to hear about them hiring someone (which could take a long time because we are such a small town).
I love my kids even more!!
For me my husband and my children are my most important and rewarding job I could ever ask for. I am lucky enough to have a husband that wants me to be at home raising our kids. I think that it's so important for children to have their mothers at home with them.
I know I'm a little old fashion.
At least that is what it feels like in the world today. Years ago all mothers stayed home. I know a lot of women that don't feel that way. They want careers and feel fulfilled with them. I am totally ok with that too. (Remember I worked full-time for years with kids)
I just don't feel that way now. I want to be there anytime my husband or my kids need me.
My kids don't drive me crazy???
A lot of mothers post things on Facebook wishing that summer was over so their kids would go back to school and stop driving them crazy. I am not that mom. I want them with me more often. If they start getting a little stir crazy we just do something else or I send them outside to play.
Our weekends are for fun not work!!!
My husband works long hours. He goes to work at the sawmill at 4:30AM, he gets off that job at 2:30PM. Then he goes to his second job climbing and falling trees until 6PM sometimes later. He is tired! When he gets home all he wants is to have dinner and be able to spend some time with our kids and I before having to go to bed. I do everything around the house including house work, yard work, projects and the normal household chores. I also like to keep a really clean house so this keeps me quite busy. With me not working I feel like I want everything to be done and the house to be nice for him since he works so hard. But... I don't do any of this on the weekends. I do basics like dinner and dishes but for the most part I leave everything (the kids still have to pick up their toys though) so we can focus on our family for the weekend. No matter if that is camping, biking, snow sleding, movie watching or video game playing. I just want the time to be free for us.
What do you think? Do you prefer being a housewife or a working mother? What works for your family?
Proverbs 31:10-31
10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 
12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 
13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 
14 She is like a merchant’s ship, bringing her food from afar. 
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work for her servant girls. 
16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard. 
17 She is energetic and strong, a hard worker. 
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable; her lamp burns late into the night. 
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber. 
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy. 
21 She has no fear of winter for her household, for everyone has warm clothes. 
22 She makes her own bedspreads. She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns. 
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates, where he sits with the other civic leaders. 
24 She makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants. 
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. 
26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. 
27 She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness. 
28 Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her: 
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all!” 
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the LORD will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.